Gilan's New 'Do
by Mychele O'Carrik of Clonmel
Summary: 1 Gilan decided to grow a WHAT? 2 Will and Gil sound like Shakespeare invaded their vocab. Halt doesn't like it, and decides to take drastic measures...Rated JIC
1. Chapter 1

Gilan's Mustache

Aghast, Will recoiled with a horrified expression. There, yonder, stood a horrible sight: Gilan posed heroically, foot propped on a chest, left hand poised elegantly on his chest, the other holding out his cloak behind him; he gazed heavenward, a poetic countenance about him. But that was not what horrified Will: no,'twas Gilan's face; for upon it was a _mustache. _

"Pray tell, foolish sir, what thou sport upon thy noble visage?"

"Forsooth, cans't thou not tell 'tis a mustache?"

"As much I gathered, good man, yet it puzzles me greatly _why_."

From a corner, Halt rolled his eyes incredulously.

"You both sound like you barfed up a Shakespeare play," he sneered. Will turned on him with an irritated look.

"Hush, coarse interloper! Thou art not supposed to know who good man William is." He turned back to Gilan, striking a melodramatic pose.

"Prithee, I ask thou once again, why dost thou sport that belittling 'stache?"

Gilan changed his pose, standing before Will.

"I wast thinking unto myself, 'would I not look manlier if I didst grow a mustache?' and so I did."

Halt snorted sarcastically. Will looked at him strangely, but said to Gilan:

"Who gavest thou that idea? For methinks it suits thou ill indeed."

Bristling, Gilan pouted indignantly. "I care not what thou thinkest; I say it suits me well."

Finally, Halt stood to leave. "I'm leaving you sots before my ears start bleeding." But neither of his former apprentices noticed the devious glimmer in Halt's eyes.

"Boy won't know what hit him," he muttered under his breath; if he wasn't THEE Halt, he might've cackled.


	2. Halt's Devious Plan in Motion

Chap 2

While Will and Gilan continued their debate on whether or not the mustache suited Gilan, Halt walked outside until he could no longer hear them.

_What's Gilan doing here anyway? _ He grumbled. _He always shows up randomly, with no reason. He _does_ actually do Ranger duties, right? Anyway, time to prepare my plan._

He built a fire just outside the veranda, and began to boil water. Will and Gilan could be heard inside, still bickering in ye olde English.

"How dost thou think it compliments thy complexion? For 'tis as tan and ruddy as mine own, yet thy 'stache is as fair as a morning in June?"

Halt plugged his ears.

"Where the heck did he learn that language? It's inappropriate for a boy his age!" he said, with, of course, a few colorful phrases thrown in. Next, he unveiled his secret weapon: Jamaican dark roast whole bean coffee! It was sealed carefully so that not even a whiff of the intoxicating aroma escaped. Halt piled several damp, green tree boughs onto the fire, creating a thick mask of smelly smoke; then, and only then, did he open the bag to grind the coffee. He had to exercise enormous self-restraint not to plunge his head into the bag and inhale the heady perfume of coffee. His eye started to twitch as the strong brew boiled, and it was all he could do not to start rolling on the ground frantically. Soon, the heady aroma wafted through the smoke screen and into the cabin.

"I thinkest that thou art a pollywoggle. So there, ye-" Gilan halted mid insult. His nostrils expanded and his eye's dilated. Will looked at him confusedly until he too smelled the intoxicating brew. The two handsome, sensible young Rangers were transformed into blathering animalistic fools in mere moments; primal instincts, such as coffee location and inhalation, kicked in. Howling to the moon, which wasn't even out, Gilan and Will bounded out the threshold on all fours.

Bounding around the fire, tongues lolling, the duo where halted by and impervious boot and an imperious command.

"Halt!" said, er, Halt. "You pathetic dogs. Want some coffee?" Halt held two steaming mugs in each hand. Gilan and Will sat on their haunches like puppies and nodded eagerly, tongues lolling. "Well you can't have any!" Halt jeered triumphantly at the looks on their faces.

"Awoooo! I dost desire thy fragrant brew! Thou give it unto me at once!" howled Gilan. Will frolicked madly in tight circles.

"Awoof! GrrrOOF! Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee…"

Halt grinned sinisterly. _It is all going according to plan…_

**A/N Ik it's short! But I'm spacing them to give me more time to figure out where I'm going with this..Suggestions?**


End file.
